


Stop Fucking Around with My Emotions (I Like You Better When You're Numb)

by vanillaloey



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Failed Attempts at Humor, Fluff, M/M, Omegle, University AU, engineering student sehun, english major jongdae, grammar nazi jongdae, iskolar sechen, pupian sechen
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25912768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillaloey/pseuds/vanillaloey
Summary: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!You both like PUP104Stranger: hiYou: hiStranger: taga-PUP ka rin?You: yes, ikaw rin?Stranger: yep. anong course mo?You: AB English. you? :)Stranger has disconnected.Translation: Or in other words, fed up na si Jongdae sa strangers na nag-d-disconnect porket English major siya; at fed up na rin siya mag-correct sa grammar ng mga nakaka-chat niya. At fed up na rin siya ma-ghost ng mga taga-College of Engineering.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Oh Sehun
Comments: 13
Kudos: 55





	Stop Fucking Around with My Emotions (I Like You Better When You're Numb)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenchenhun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenchenhun/gifts).



> Hello!! I'm back with a new AU. 
> 
> This is originally Diane's prompt pero ninakaw ko sa kanya. Charot.  
> Anyway, advance happy birthday sa'yo, Diana Marie, kahit mauuna ang birthday ko sa'yo jsjsjsjs sana magustuhan mo. Sana rin magustuhan niyo, our little sechenist community club members.
> 
> This is also heavily inspired by my four-year stay as a PUPian. Huhu. Miss ko na ang sintang paaralan. Everything I described here is basically how the univ was like during my time in college, so in case na may mga changes na sa university ngayon, that I'm not aware anymore since 2017 pa ako grumaduate. Also if you're reading this and you're from CEA, I'm very sorry kasi hindi ako masyadong familiar sa mga class doon, fictitious na karamihan dito huhu
> 
> Songs I listened to while writing this one shot: The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver by All Time Low, Grammar Nazi by Reese Lansangan, Daylight by 5 Seconds of Summer
> 
> This is also unbeta-d so read at your own risk.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything EXO related stuff. Everything here is used for fiction purposes.

Maingay, maraming padaan-daang estudyante, at higit sa lahat, langhap na langhap ang amoy ng Pasig River sa 4th floor, West Wing end. Pero wala namang choice ang klase nila Jongdae, ang AB English 4-1, kundi dito gawin ang props para sa upcoming play nila, a final requirement for their Mythology and Folklore class.

Last week na ng September at one month na lang ay matatapos na ang first semester, kaya naman todo prepare ang klase nila. Gusto rin daw nilang ma-feel ang foundation day nang wala nang inaalalang requirements (Translation: Marami lang talaga gustong manood ng Pylon Run at mag-compare ng mga anez ng mga aktibista; Pylon Run is, like, the Oblation Run, but PUP edition).

“Hoy, Chanyeol!” Bati ni Jongdae sa kaibigan na nakaupo sa isang bench. Their other classmates continue to make backdrops, pero pinayagan na sila ng class president nila na si Bea na mag-lunch. “Eto na,” Inabot niya sa kaibigan ang dala-dala niyang dalawang plastic na may lamang rice meal; his other hand holds a red iced tea drink. “Ang tamad mo talaga, hindi mo na lang ako sinamahan bumili! Sobrang init tyaka ang daming tao do’n sa pinagbilhan ko ng ulam mo, jusko ka!” 

The taller guy just grabbed the plastic bag and continued to type something on his phone. “Thanks, Dae."

“Asshole,” Jongdae replied back at naupo na sa tabi ng kaibigan. “Ano na naman ba yan?”

“Omegle.” Chanyeol replied. 

“Na naman?” Hindi ma-gets ni Jongdae bakit kailangan pang mag-Omegle ang kaibigan eh sobrang sikat naman nito sa buong campus??? Hello, Mr. CAL 2018??? Like he can get any person he wants to date. “But hindi dini-disconnect? Walang kwenta ka pa naman mag-chat.”

“Well at least I’m actually having a conversation with someone, unlike you na puro introduction lang magaling.” Chanyeol spat. 

“Ang gago mo!” 

  
  


Hindi naman talaga jowang-jowa si Jongdae, slight lang. Pero a little landi, won’t do harm, will it? Especially ‘pag bored siya, he likes talking to random people kaya minsan Omegle rin ang takbuhan niya. Pero ayon nga, na-ba-badtrip na siya kasi every time he tells people na he’s an English major, dini-disconnect nito ang chat.

He always thought to himself, _kasalanan ko bang magaling ako mag-English?_ Or ‘di kaya, _gago ‘to ah, di ‘ko naman i-co-correct grammar mo, well unless you say stuffS instead of stuff or you switch the proper use of ‘your’ and ‘you’re’._

Pero he swears talaga na mabait naman siya sa makaka-chat niya (at willing siya maging English tutor, charot lang ulit). 

Like now, since break nila from making props at kakatapos lang niya kumain ng siomai at rice for lunch, sumalpak ulit siya sa wood bench at inopen ang data. 

Pang-apat na atang ka-chat ni Jongdae ang nag-disconnect. ‘Di tuloy siya sure kung dahil naghihingalo as usual ang signal sa wing nila or sadyang na-i-intimidate lang ang mga ito dahil ine-English niya ang mga reply niya sa kausap. _Nakapa-petty naman, jusko._

“Guys, back to work na in 30 minutes, ha?” Announce ng president nila kaya napa-groan na lang yung iba dahil tinatamad na sila gumawa ng props.

Okay, last na talaga ‘to. Shuta naman, isang matinong conversation lang, rold.

  
  


**You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!**

**You both like PUP104**

**Stranger:** hi

 **You:** hi

 **Stranger:** PUPian?

 **You:** Yes :)

 **Stranger:** From main? 

**You:** Yep! I’m from CAL.

 **Stranger:** Oh, nice. I’m from COE.

Ay wow, COE. Reply pa rin si Jongdae kahit na ilang Engineering students na ata ang nang-ghost sa kanya. Try and try until hindi na ma-ghost, gano’n ba ‘yon?

**Stranger** : Tho I’m from Sta. Rosa campus

Okay, double kill. Jongdae internally winced. A little back story, may naka-landian siya sa Omegle rin dati na taga-Sta. Rosa campus. The conversation started there then they ended up friends and chatting on Facebook. Tapos ayon, one day biglang hindi na siya ni-re-replyan sa chat. _Hashtag seenzone._ Sayang, kasi gwapo ito at basically the person possesses one thing that Jongdae wants for a guy: tama ang spelling at grammar (it's petty, he knows).

That was from two years ago, at inunfriend na niya ito sa Facebook, so he doesn’t care about it now.

But okay, he’s giving this random person a chance since as what people like to say, it’s not that deep (or isn’t it, really?)

Jongdae leaned on to Chanyeol’s arms, looking really engrossed with his conversation with this stranger. For the first time after a forever ago kasi may nakipag-usap sa kanya nang matino. Plus points pa na gumagamit itong si ate girl or kuya boy, kung ano man siya ng proper sentence structure, with proper capitalization and punctuation. 

In the past 10 minutes, napag-usapan na ata nila ang difference ng campuses nila, as well as the upcoming PUP foundation day that everyone is looking forward to.

**You:** Wait ang dami na nating napag-usapan, we still don’t know each other’s asl.

 **Stranger:** Yeah, right. I totally forgot about that. Hahahahaha

 **Stranger:** Ay wait, I need to go, our prof just arrived. Bad timing. 

**Stranger:** But here’s my number, text me. :) 09XXXXXXXX

 **Stranger:** I’m a guy :)

_Stranger has disconnected._

Nakatitig lang ata siya sa screen ng phone niya, specifically sa phone number ni Kuya Stranger, which is really strange kasi why would anyone give their phone numbers first instead of their social media accounts? Pero sa isip-isip ni Jongdae, it’s nice rin since kapag nagka-ghost-an ulit ay walang identity at wala ring hard feelings. 

So before he went back to doing props, he saved the number and sent them a message.

To: 09XXXXXXXXX

_Hi! I’m JD, CAL dude you chatted with on Omegle :)_

* * *

  
“Hoy, anong oras ba Pylon Run?” It was Junmyeon, their BS Accountancy major friend. Actually, high school classmates talaga sila nila Jongdae at Chanyeol, pati na rin si Minseok na Educ Math major ngayon. Lima talaga sila originally na mag-t-tropa, kaso yung isa nilang friend na si Yixing, sa UST nag-aral, and is currently taking up a pre-med course. Wala eh, nasa angkan siya ng mga doktor.

“In thirty minutes ata? At talagang manonood kayo n’yan? Puro kikiam naman ‘yan eh,” Tila nandidiring sabi ni Chanyeol, at sinang-ayunan ito ni Minseok.

“Kaya nga, kumakain pa naman tayo,” Si Minseok ang pinakatahimik at kalmado palagi sa kanilang tatlo. Lagi nga tuloy siya inaasar ni Jongdae at Chanyeol na baka pagtripan lang siya ng mga magiging estudyante niya in the future.

“Nasa second floor naman tayo so hindi naman super kitang-kita ‘yang mga kikiam nila, as you’d like to put it,” Jongdae replied, not looking at his friends’ reaction dahil busy ito magtipa ng text sa phone niya. Napanguso pa nga ito.

“At sino na naman ‘yang ka-text mo, Jongdae?” Sermon ni Junmyeon sa kanya at tumingin sa screen ng phone ng kaibigan. “Wow, _hun_ , may endearment na agad?”

“Gago! Nickname niya kasi ‘yan!” Jongdae replied defensively. 

“Sure ka bang matinong tao ‘yang Hun na ‘yan, Dae?” Concerned na sabi ni Minseok. Alam kasi ng mga ito na mag-ra-rant na naman ang kaibigan kapag this landian thing won’t go well, syempre it’s gonna be topped with a session of inuman. "Sayang wala si Yix, papagalitan ka na naman no'n."

“Two weeks pa lang sila nagkaka-usap niyan,” sabat ni Chanyeol na busy pumapak sa FEWA niya na pinaghatian nila ni Junmyeon. “Nag-start sa Omegle nung gumagawa kaming props para sa Mythology. Muntik nang hindi tumulong ulit eh.”

“Taga saan at anong year daw?” Ay Minseok, interview ito?

“Engineering daw,” Natatawang sabi ni Chanyeol, “Tapos eto pa, taga Sta. Rosa campus daw,” dagdag niya at hinampas nang mahina si Junmyeon.

“Tangina, hindi nadala?” Junmyeon joined Chanyeol in teasing him. Alam kasi nila ang kwento ni Jongdae about that certain Engineering student na binudol si Jongdae, telling him na he's a freshman din when in fact the guy was a sophie that time. Wala naman talagang kaso 'yon kay Jongdae kahit he felt a little betrayed about that (kasi nga marupok siya), pero after nilang makaalaman noon ay hindi na ulit siya kinausap ng binata. _Asshole,_ as Jongdae likes to put it. 

“Grabe, makapag-kwentuhan parang wala ako sa harap niyo, mga hayop!” Jongdae whined.

“Ah basta siguraduhin mo lang ‘di na naman mauuwi sa pagka-wasted ‘yan Jongdae, ha.” sermon ni Minseok.

Well about that, Jongdae isn’t really sure.

  
  


**From: Hun**

_JD!!_

Jongdae received the message few minutes before magstart ang Pylon Run. Maingay na lalo dahil marami nang tao both sa first floor, west wing, pati na sa lahat ng balcony. Sa may Charlie del Rosario building kasi unang manggagaling yung mga magpaparada tapos dadaan sila sa may Popeye (kung saan lagi may nag-ra-rally na mga aktibista), tapos didiretso sila sa may harap, sa PUP grounds where events are usually hold.

**From: You**

_Hun!! Bakit? :)_

**From: Hun**

_We’re here at main today because of the foundation day event. Would like to meet later?_

Nanlaki ang mata ni Jongdae, kasabay ng pagbilis ng tibok ng puso niya due to nervousness and excitement. 

**From: You**

_What??? Like here??? Sta. Mesa???_

**From: Hun**

_Yep. My friends are gonna watch Pylon Run, I’m here inside the great wall though, ‘cause I don’t really wanna watch that._

Umangat ang tingin ni Jongdae sa mga kaibigan niyang nakadungaw na rin sa balcony to watch the event. Tignan mo ‘tong mga gagong ito, manonood rin pala. At nakikisigaw pa ang mga walang hiya!

**From: You**

_Do you want to meet now? I can go there hehe uuwi rin kasi kami agad pagkatapos_

Di alam ni Jongdae bakit niya ni-reply ‘yon, pero kasi naman, two weeks na siya nakikipag-usap sa binata pero wala naman siyang nakikitang itsura sa isip niya. The two of them also haven’t talked about their personal identities; they just know each other as JD and Hun. 

Not expecting an immediate reply, but Jongdae almost dropped his phone upon ringing.

**From: Hun**

_Okay :) I’m at the bench near near Ampitheater and Lagoon._

_I’m wearing a white shirt and black cap._

**From: You**

_Okay, I’ll go there._

Tumayo si Jongdae sa pagkakaupo sa floor ng department office hallway kung saan sila nakapwesto at kinalabit si Chanyeol.

“Yeol, baba muna ako ha,” Paalam nito. 

“Sa’n punta?”

“Dyan lang sa lagoon, bibiling iced tea.”

“Ah ganon, bilhan mo rin ako!” Sigaw nito sa kanya pero nasa may bandang hagdan na siya. 

Lakad-takbo na ata ang ginawa ni Jongdae. Syempre araw niyang maabutan ang mga naglalakad na kikiam kapag pumunta sya papasok ng great wall, ‘di ba? Though hindi naman ito ang first time niya na makipag-meet sa mga nakaka-chat niya online, kinakabahan pa rin siya. Hindi naman siya sure, baka mamaya freshie pala itong ka-chat niya, or di kaya isa sa mga 5th year student na manyak. Hindi rin siya sure kung gwapo ba ito or, well, chaka. 

Nasa stalls karamihan ng tao, bumibili ng food, or di kaya nasa labas, nanonood sa Pylon Run. Rinig niya hanggang dito ang ingay mula sa labas pero wala na siyang pakialam doon for now. Kakaunting tao lang ang nasa may bandang Ampitheater kaya madali niyang natanaw ang isang lalaking nakawhite shirt, black skinny jeans, at naka-black cap. Nakatalikod ito sa kanya, pero kahit ganoon ay ang lakas na ng dating nito para sa kanya.

Instead of calling the guy's name, naglakad siya sa harap nito at muntik na niyang balaking tumalon sa Lagoon, wala siyang pakialam kung puro lumot at germs ito.

_"Hatdog."_

* * *

"Kaninong prof ka na-assign?" Tanong ni Chanyeol kay Jongdae. The latter's busy finishing his paper assignment for his Literary Criticism class. 

"Kay Sir Yunho," walang gana na sabi ni Jongdae, kinatawa naman ito ng kaibigan.

"Tangina, eh 'di ba kadalasan sa CEA 'yon naka-base?"

"Kaya nga! Shuta, ayoko pa naman doon ang hassle," Nakasimangot na naman si Jongdae. Talagang may magnet siya sa Engineering, ano?

"Sus, may ayaw ka lang maalala eh," Jongdae just rolled his eyes at pinagpatuloy ang paggawa ng paper.

"Heh, tumigil ka. Alam mo namang dito sa Teresa ako bumababa palagi dahil nag-j-jeep lang ako papasok." Sa bandang Cubao kasi nakatira si Jongdae. Mas mura kasi ng 10 pesos ang jeep kesa mag-LRT. Syempre, doon siya sa tipid. 

"Bahala ka nga," sagot ni Chanyeol. "Ang kuripot mo, parang magkano lang ang difference."

"Luh, nagsalita ang hindi."

Stressful ang second semester para kay Jongdae. Bukod sa mas demanding ang mga professor nila sa requirements, may practicum rin sila na kailangan i-accomplish para maka-graduate. Like what he said, na-assign siya para maging student teacher ni Sir Yunho, an English professor na based sa CEA. Hindi niya pa alam kung anong class ang hawak nito, pero most probably mga lower years, kasi balita ni Jongdae mula sa iba nilang kaklase na Study and Thinking Skills ang tinuturo nito madalas, pati na Strategies in Listening course. 

After class, sumakay siya ng tricycle papuntang CEA para hanapin at kausapin si Sir Yunho na siya nga yung magiging student teacher nito. Wala naman siyang problema, kasi mabait naman daw ang professor. 

According sa schedule na nakuha niya mula sa English department office, naka-break daw ito ng ganitong oras at kadalasang nakatambay malapit sa volleyball court. Hindi naman nagkamali ang nakuhaan niya ng source, dahil nakaupo sa isang bench si Sir Yunho, nakaharap sa laptop nito. Mukhang gumagawa ng powerpoint presentation para sa susunod nitong klase.

"Good afternoon, sir," Nahihiyang bati niya dito. Napaangat naman ito ng tingin sa kanya. Simple lang ang suot ng professor, just a normal plain white t-shirt tapos pants. Sobrang bata rin ng itsura nito, mapapagkamalan mong ka-edad lang nila Jongae.

"Good afternoon...?"

"Jongdae po, sir. Ako po yung inassign ni Ma'am Jessica para maging ST niyo po," He introduced himself and lend the professor his endorsement letter from his adviser. Kinuha ito ng professor at napatango.

"Ah, alright. When do you want to start?" Sir Yunho looked up to him, adjusting his frame. 

"I can start as early as tomorrow, sir." Masiglang sabi ni Jongdae. Gusto na niya simulan 'tong pagiging assistant teacher dahil gusto na niya matapos ito agad. Kailangan lang naman nila ng 200 hours of teaching para makapasa sa practicum na ito. 

"Okay," Sir Yunho fished through his folders and handled Jongdae a paper. "Here's my schedule, I usually come in to their class 5 minutes late to give them a little adjustment after their class before mine. Maybe use that time to be familiarized with them and observe my students."

Jongdae nodded in understanding. Hind naman pala super loaded ang klase ni Sir; four days lang ito nagtuturo at tatlong sections lang naman ang handle nito. Binasa ni Jongdae ang nakasulat sa papel.

_Public Communication, BSME 4-2: Mondays, 2:30-4:30 PM_

_Writing and Composition, BSCE 5-1: Tuesdays & Thursdays, 10:30 AM - 12:30 PM_

_Study & Thinking Skills in English, BSIE 2-2: Fridays, 5:30 PM - 7:30 PM_

Ayos lang kay Jongdae na umuwi ng late, basta hindi papasok nang maaga. Good thing na rin talaga na walang early morning schedule si Sir Yunho dahil hindi niya alam baka maging bad mood lang lagi siya sa mga estudyante, as he's never a morning person. 

"Alright, sir. I'll be here tomorrow," He slightly bowed and give the professor a small smile. 

The following day, hindi alam ni Jongdae kung ano ang isusuot niya sa mga magiging klase niya. Sabi kasi ni Miss Jessica, dapat daw masanay na sila magsuot ng formal attire para in preparation sa corporate lives nila after they graduate. Pero ang gusto lang ni Jongdae ay magsuot ng plain t-shirt kagaya ng mga sinusuot ni Sir Yunho. In the end sinunod niya ang sarili at nagsuot lang ng plain v-neck na white shirt at maong pants. It's not like Miss Jessica will watch his every move, right?

Thursday ngayon kaya ang schedule niya ay sa BS Civil Engineering. Fifth year pala ang tuturuan niya, so he's not very comfortable about the fact na mas matanda sa kanya ang iha-handle niya. But then again, it's not like he has a choice.

Nasa third floor ang klase ng BSCE 5-1. It's quiet in the hallway because it's still early and a lot of classes have started already. Rinig ni Jongdae ang ingay at kwentuhan sa loob ng classroom. Huminga muna siya nang malalim bago pumasok dito. 

Gulat ang karamihan dahil he's a new face. Not to mention na he really looks young, mapapagkamalan mo na junior lang siya. Lumapit sa kanya ang isang maliit na lalaki. Mas matangkad lang siguro si Jongdae ng ilang inch. 

"Wala po ba si Sir Yunho?" Tanong nito sa kanya. 

Nginitian ni Jongdae ang lalaki. "Ah, he'll be here. I'm Jongdae, your student teacher for this subject."

Nanlaki ang mata ng kausap niya. Ang cute kasi napa-taas rin ang makapal na kilay ng binata. "Oh, sorry, Sir Jongdae. I'm Kyungsoo, the class president." Humarap naman si Kyungsoo sa mga kaklase niya para ipakilala ang bago nilang student teacher. "Guys, si Sir Jongdae, ST ni sir Yunho."

The class replied a "hello po sir" and "good morning, sir" na weird pa rin sa pandinig ni Jongdae dahil una mas matatanda ito sa kanya, at second wala naman siya talaga balak maging teacher. 

He roamed his eyes around the room at halos malaki ang mata niya nang makita ang nakaupo sa dulo ng classroom. _Putangina._

* * *

"JD!"

"JD!"

_"Dae!"_

"Kim Jongdae!"

Binilisan ni Jongdae ang paglalakad pero sadyang mahaba ang binti ng tumatawag sa kanya kaya madali siyang naabutan nito. He glared at the person in front of him. "May klase pa akong pupuntahan, sorry." Tinry niya umalis pero hinarangan ulit siya nito. 

"Please hear me out first," Nagmamakaawang sabi ng nasa harapan niya. 

_What is there to listen to?_ Jongdae thought. 

"Bakit ka nandito, Sehun?" Ayan na lang ang nasabi niya.

Naalala na naman niya yung araw ng foundation day, where he's supposed to meet Hun, the one he met throught Omegle. Honestly, pagkakita pa lang niya kung sino ito, umalis agad siya nang hindi lumilingon kahit tinatawag siya ng binata. He went back to where his friends were and apologized to Chanyeol and said na hindi siya nakabili ng palamig. 

Nakatanggap siya ng missed calls at texts from the same person. Though hindi siya ready tumanggap ng explanations, he still read the messages. 

_Hey, Jongdae. I'm sorry. And yes, it's me, Sehun, the same person who ghosted you two years ago._

Matapos noon ay binlock na ni Jongdae ang number ni Sehun sa contacts niya. Even in social media, hindi na ginagamit ni Jongdae ang mga old account niya dahil alam niyang imemessage at susubukan siyang i-add doon ng binata. 

Right now nasa may bench sila sa tabi ng volleyball court. No one was talking at first, but it was Sehun who broke the silence. "I transferred here this semester. That's why I was here during the foundation day. I was fixing my papers." 

Nakatingin lang si Jongdae kay Sehun. Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala na andito sila ngayon magkatapat na magka-usap. Malaki rin ang pinagbago nito from two years ago. Mas lalo itong tumangkad at naging mas maganda rin ang built ng katawan nito. Jongdae can't help but feel really infuriated at this point dahil naalala na naman niya ang nangyari sa kanila from two years ago. 

Nandoon na sa punto si Jongdae na hulog na talaga siya. Sabi niya rin sa sarili niya na kapag sigurado na siya sa nararamdaman niya ay makikipagkita siya kay Sehun para i-try ang pakikipag-date dito. Pero before he can even tell him how he felt, bigla na lang siyang hindi ni-re-replyan nito. Of course to him, it did sting. Ika nga, _before we started it was over._

Ni wala man lang sinabi sa kanya na ayaw na, the person just left without him knowing.

That sucked because he didn't know what went wrong; he was left hanging.

"But you knew that it was me you're texting with all along?" Jongdae asked him. 

Tumango si Sehun. "You're still using the number you gave me from two years ago. I never deleted it."

Days and weeks passed and Jongdae got busier with his schooling and student teaching duty. Lalo na't nalalapit na ang Christmas break, kailangan niya tapusing i-check ang lahat ng papers na binigay sa kanya ni Sir Yunho bago magsimula ang break. Ayaw niya kasi na matambakan, dahil for sure, bibigyan rin siya ng prof niya ng holiday assignments. 

Nasa English department faculty sa sixth floor siya ngayon nag-che-check, sa station ni Sir Yunho. Maagang umalis ang critic teacher niya dahil may seminar daw ito na pupuntahan. Alas otso na ng gabi natapos si Jongdae mag-check; nagsisiuwian na rin ang ibang prof na nasa loob ng office. Bago pa man din maubos ang laman ng room ay nagsimula na siya magligpit para makauwi. 

Halos tahimik na rin ang school grounds dahil nakauwi na ang karamihan. Sanay naman si Jongdae umuwi ng ganitong oras dahil gabi ang klase nito noon sa PolGov; ang pinagkaiba nga lang ay sabay sila ni Chanyeol umuuwi. Feeling niya tuloy ang lonely niya tignan, charot.

Naglalakad siya sa may sidewalk sa tapat ng bahay ni Mabini nang may tumawag sa kanya. 

"Jongdae."

Nilingon niya ito, at wow surprise, it's the ghoster of the year. 

"Sehun."

"Pauwi ka na? Hatid na kita." There's a small smile playing on Sehun's lips. The gentleness in his tone almost made Jongdae become liquid. But no, hindi siya pwedeng maging marupok. Parang nagtanda na ata siya sa _almost_ na nakaraan nila. 

"No need, I can manage." 

Napa-sigh na lang si Sehun. "Please, Jongdae? Please let me make it up to you."

"Fine."

Naglakad sila papunta sa may gilid ng gym kung saan naka-park ang Vios ni Sehun. Hindi na nagulat si Jongdae dito, dati pa lang ay alam na niya na may-kaya ang pamilya nito. Nakikita kasi ni Jongdae sa mga photo na naka-upload sa Facebook account ni Sehun dati. 

Pinagbuksan siya nito ng pinto at tahimik lang siyang pumasok sa sasakyan. Agad naman niyang naamoy ang pabango ng sasakyan, it was a mixture of mint and something sweet, he guessed. 

Sehun asked for his address, which he did give and Sehun put it on Waze. The rest of their trip is quiet, but a couple of times Jongdae caught Sehun giving him a glance.

"JD," Sehun called him the moment he got out of the car. 

"What is it?" 

"I'm sorry." 

Jongdae raised his eyebrow. "What for?"

"For two years ago, for lying to you about my real year, and for the recent thing that I didn't tell you it was me you're texting with all along." Sehun replied in one breath. "I’m sorry.”

Tumitig lang sandali si Jongdae kay Sehun, pero tumango ito at pumasok na sa loob ng bahay. 

  
  
  


Akala ni Jongdae ay titigilan na siya ni Sehun pagkatapos ng gabing ‘yon. Wala na rin naman nang reason para lumapit ito sa kanya; apologies were already said at okay na iyon sa kanya. Ayaw na niya ma-attach ulit dito. I mean what for, eh ito naman ang unang lumayo sa kanya noon. 

Pero nagugulat na lang si Jongdae pag malapit ito sa kanya. Minsan ay inaabangan siya nito kapag papunta ito sa klase nila. May mga times na hinihintay siya pag late siya nakakalabas ng faculty. Minsan rin ay iniiwanan siya ng lunch sa table niya sa faculty, pinapaabot ni Sehun kay Kyungsoo. Walang araw na na-miss si Sehun na gawin ito.

“Okay, dismissed,” sabi ni Jongdae sa klase nila sa BSCE. Wala kasi si Sir Yunho nila dahil magkakaroon ng accreditation para sa department nila at isa ito sa mga nag-aasikaso dito. Normal na lang naman ito kay Jongdae; isa pa, napalapit na rin ang loob niya sa mga estudyante niya.

Pero isa lang ang nakakapanibago ngayon. Absent kasi si Sehun. 

There are moments wherein he sneaks a glance at Sehun’s vacant chair when he’s in front and is discussing something. Kating-kati siya itanong kay Kyungsoo kung bakit ito absent, but he didn’t. 

Nagliligpit siya ng gamit niya nang marinig ang usapan ng dalawang estudyante. Si Jongin at si Kyungsoo.

“Huy, bakit wala si Sehun?” Tanong ni Jongin kay Kyungsoo. Nakita ni Jongdae from his peripheral view ang paglapit nito sa president nila.

“Ang chat lang niya sa’kin kaninang umaga, masama daw pakiramdam niya eh.” Kyungsoo explained. 

“Parang sigla pa no’n kahapon ah,” Jongin joked. Hinampas naman siya ni Kyungsoo dahil dito.

“Gago ka talaga!” Kyungsoo exclaimed. “Tahimik lang ‘yon pero ‘di talaga yun okay.”

“Bakit, may problema ba ‘yun?” Hindi alam ni Jongdae bakit nakikinig pa siya sa usapan ng magkaklase. Jongdae, may next class ka pa.

Kyungsoo sighed. “Matagal na kami mag-tropa niyan ni Sehun, kaklase ko siya nung high school. Mayaman pamilya nila kaso naghiwalay ang parents niya. Yung mama niya ngayon nasa Canada, so he used to live with his father. Kaso lang, ewan ko, nagka-problem ata sila ng dad niya kaya lumipat siya dito.”

Nanikip ata ang dibdib ni Jongdae sa narinig. He feels like he’s been so harsh to Sehun, he didn’t know that the guy is going through something. 

Hindi na siya mapakali, kaya lumapit siya sa dalawa. “Uh, Kyungsoo?”

Both of them turned to him.

“Alam niyo ba kung saan nakatira si Sehun?” Nagulat ang dalawa sa tanong niya, but it was Jongin who replied.

“Dyan lang sa El Pueblo. 942.” 

* * *

Jongdae is crazy for doing this, but here he is. Pagkatapos ng klase niya ngayong araw ay dumiretso siya sa El Pueblo, which is basically just beside the university. Nasa tapat ng pintuan ng condo ni Sehun, not knowing what to do. Iniisip niya kung kakatok siya at iwanan na lang ang dala-dalang Mcdo meal at umalis na, but then again, he wanted to see and talk to the taller guy.

He took a deep breath before pushing the doorbell. Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib niya while waiting for him, at halos malaglag na ang puso niya nang marinig ang pag-unlock ng pintuan. 

The door opened, and then there’s Sehun with uncombed hair and on his baggy clothes. Bakit ganon, kahit nasa bahay lang ito ay gwapo pa rin…

“J-jongdae?” May gulat sa expression nito, pero Jongdae can also see a hint of joy?

Iniwas ni Jongdae ang tingin at nilahad ang dala-dala nitong paper bag. “Sabi nila may sakit ka daw so I brought some food.”

Sehun’s processing what’s happening in front of his eyes. Nevertheless, he stepped back and gave a space for Jongdae to come in. 

Wala masyadong gamit ang condo ni Sehun. Just a sofa and a smart TV in the living room. Meron ding leftover chips sa table, pero wala siyang stocks ng food sa cabinet. 

Kinuha ni Sehun ang dala ni Jongdae na pagkain. Chicken with rice and fries lang ito dahil hindi niya alam ang gusto ni Sehun.

“No sundae?” Sehun broke the silence.

“Ha?”

“You said before na when we meet tapos we go have lunch or dinner in Mcdo, you’ll let me try dipping fries on sundae.”

“Naalala mo pa ‘yun?” Jongdae said, astonished.

“Ba’t naman hindi?” Sehun said as he munched on his fries. “Thank you pala.”

“W-wala yun,” Jongdae’s just awkwardly sitting on Sehun’s sofa. Bago pa man siya pumunta dito ay iniisip na niya ang sasabihin niya, pero tila nawala lahat ng ni-rehearse niya sa utak niya.

Natutulog pala si Sehun bago siya pumunta. It’s almost 8 in the evening na rin kaya sakto ang dating niya at nakakain si Sehun ng dinner. 

“You’re not gonna eat?” The taller guy asked habang nakasalpak sa couch niya at kinakain ang dala ni Jongdae. 

The shorter guy just shook his head. “Uhm, I went here to say something.”

“What is it?”

Here goes nothing. “I’m sorry din. Masyado akong naging harsh sa’yo simula noong start ng semester. Heck, even for running away during the foundation day.”

“You don’t have to. It was my fault, anyway.”

“I...I also want to know why you suddenly stopped replying to me. Two years ago.” Hindi naman siguro masamang malaman na ang sagot dito, ‘di ba?

Sehun sighed at binaba ang hawak na pagkain. He drank from his soda before turning again to Jongdae. 

“I was supposed to migrate to Canada, two years ago.” Sehun explained. “It was a hard year for me, since my dad said he’s gonna live with his new family. So I told him I don’t want to live with him anymore, I want to start a new life with my mom abroad. I stopped replying because I feel like the thing between us was too virtual, and it was going nowhere, although it was still my fault, because I wasn’t able to tell you that I wasn’t ready for anything before. I thought that it’s not gonna work out because I’m gonna be continents away from you.”

Nalungkot si Jongdae sa sinabi ni Sehun. Hindi talaga siya aware na galing sa broken family ito. Even way back when they were still talking, parang ang saya saya nito palagi, though he never really mentioned his family to Jongdae. 

Isa pa, may point rin naman ang sinabi ni Sehun. It won’t work out properly if they decide to be together nang malayo sa isa’t isa. 

“Pero hindi ako natuloy,” Sehun continued. “I found out that my mom is getting married to someone and she was pregnant,” There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice. “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m gonna be the intruder even when I’m the first son. I continued to live with my father and his other family but it didn’t really make me happy. And so, I’m here, with the help of Kyungsoo, of course.”

Jongdae didn’t know what came into him, but he stood up and went to Sehun and wrapped his arms around the latter’s waist. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Naramdaman niya ang pagyakap pabalik ng binata, at namula siya nang dahil dito. Buti na lang hindi nakikita ni Sehun ang itsura niya ngayon. 

“I’m okay now,” Sehun chuckled. “More okay that you’re hugging me.”

Napabitaw agad si Jongdae at nahiya na ulit. “I’m sorry!”

Sehun just chuckled and grabbed Jongdae’s hands in his. “Thank you.”

“Teka, may sakit ka ba talaga o umabsent ka lang?!” Jongdae exclaimed. The atmosphere suddenly turned lighter.

“Psh, you know I wouldn’t miss one class where you’re present,” 

Jongdae nudged him. “Wag ka nga!”

“I was sick talaga. Masakit kasi ulo ko kanina kasi nagpuyat ako.”

“Ayan kasi bakit nagpupuyat?” Jongdae poked Sehun sa braso nito.

“Sorry na nga po eh, ‘wag na magalit _baby_ ko?”

“Hoy hindi pa, Sehun!”

Kunwari pa, kinilig rin naman. 

* * *

It’s the start of their Christmas break at nasa condo nila Sehun si Jongdae at ang barkada: Minseok, Junmyeon, Kyungsoo, Jongin, at ang best friend ni Sehun sa Sta. Rosa campus na si Baekhyun (na nakakailang tingin na kay Chanyeol, btw). Sehun and Jongdae introduced everyone to one another and that’s the start of their growing friendship. 

Nasa kusina si Jongdae kasama si Kyungsoo at Baekhyun to prepare for their dinner. “So kailan mo ba sasagutin ‘yung best friend ko?” Baekhyun playfully said. 

“Kaya nga eh, ewan ko ba dyan eh halos di mo na nga mapaghiwalay,” Kyungsoo added sarcastically. 

Jongdae just shrugged. “Basta.”

“Yan na naman sya. Yan din naman sinagot mo sa’min last time eh,” Baekhyun whined, buti na lang nakatalikod si Jongdae at naghahanda ng mga pinggdan kundi makikita niya ang pang-asar na itsura ni Baekhyun.

“Oy, kakain na!” Kyungsoo called everyone in the living room. The other guys are focused on their phones playing mobile legend. 

Si Kyungsoo ang nagluto ng dinner nila syempre. Siya lang naman ang maalam sa pagluluto dahil yung iba sa tropa nila kulang na lang ay masunog na ang buong bahay.

They talked about their plans for this break. Si Baekhyun ay babalik sa Sta. Rosa dahil uuwi daw ang mga kamag-anak nila from Singapore. Dahil mag-jowa na si Kyungsoo at Jongin, they decided to spend holidays together sa bahay nila, sa Christmas kina Kyungsoo, at New Year kina Jongin. Mag-o-out of town trip naman daw sina Junmyeon, Yixing, and Minseok, doon sila sa bahay ng tita ni Yixing sa Cebu mag-ce-celebrate. 

As for the Jongdae and Sehun, Jongdae invited Sehun sa bahay nila sa QC for the holidays since ayaw naman niya i-spend ang holidays sa bahay ng dad niya. Syempre, binigyan na lang si Sehun ng malaking allowance ng mga magulang niya. 

Around 11 PM, nag-uwian na ang mga tropa nila. Jongdae busied himself cleaning Sehun’s place habang hinatid nito sa gate ang mga kaibigan. 

“Hatid na rin ba kita?” Sehun said upon entering the room. 

“Wait lang, tapusin ko lang ‘to,” sabi ni Sehun habang tinatapon sa basurahan ang winalis niya. 

Jongdae felt Sehun’s arms encircling him. “Wag mo na gawin ‘yan, di naman kita pinapunta dito para maglinis.”

“Okay lang, ayan tapos na nga oh,” Jongdae said at humarap kay Sehun. The latter still hasn’t removed his arms around him. 

“I love you,” Hindi naman ito ang unang beses na sinabi ito ni Sehun sa kanya, pero iba pa rin ang epekto nito sa kanya. Para siyang nalulusaw sa titig at boses ng binata. 

Shet, ang rupok. 

Napangiti lang siya. "Mahal rin kita."

"W-what?" Sehun blinked several times. "What did you say?"

"Walang ulitan sa bingi, Sehun."

"I hate you," Sehun whined. 

"You love me." Jongdae said playfully. 

Sehun just leaned in closer to him and said "I love you" before capturing Jongdae's lips in his.

**Author's Note:**

> Chikahin niyo ako sa Twitter @agirlwithasaga / @vanillaloey
> 
> Your kudos and reviews are appreciated <3


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